OT: Italian engravers and blind date(s) (archive)
Posted by Mark B on August 25, 2001 at 08:36:35:
(posted from: 23.seattle-05-10rs.wa.dial-access.att.net (12.82.140.23))
This guy could just as easily have been German, or French, or American. He was, however, Italian, and so I will try to give you the accent.Picture, if you will, me walking into an engraver's store in downtown Seattle. It's a little shop about a block north of The Bon. It's got that smell that all small downtown stores have, as if the proprietor is cooking some sort of stew in the back. Sitting behind the counter is a fifty-ish woman talking quietly, but energetically on the phone. When she sees me, she yells "GINO!!!" And out comes Gino, a 60-ish Italian man. He's stout, but not fat, a little shorter than I am, and he has a gold bracelet on. He's stylish in the way that Italian people seem to be ... there's no particular justification. His hair, which, if left to its own devices, would have been gray, was instead JET black. Too black. An unnatural black. He walks up to me and says, "I'm Gino". And with a glance to the woman he says "My DSL line, she is broken". And so I say "I'd like to get this..." "I don't a-know what's a wrong with the DSL. It's a-working fine and then nothing! Let me tell you how many faxes I am getting. No faxes! That's how many I get since I start with the DSL. No DSL, I get faxes ... DSL and NO FAXES!" "Yes, well, that's too bad. I hope it works out for you. I have this keychain ..." "So I call the technical support, and do you know what he's a-telling me? He's a-telling me that the DSL is working fine. I tell him NO! If the DSL, she were a working, I would not call. I'm a busy, busy man. Gino doesn't call for no reason! Yesterday, the DSL, she was a-working fine. Did I call? No! So I tell the man that this should be the evideeennnce that something, she is a-broken." "Yes, I can see what you mean. Those tech support people are hard to deal with. I have this keychain ..." "He tells me that my DSL, she is a working no problem." "I really need it engraved ...." "Like Gino is an idiot, he tells me this. I tell him that she is broken. If he wants money to come fix it, then I will give him the money, but don't tell Gino she isn't broken ..." "there's this promise I made, you see, and there are these Texans with nooses, and I really need ..." "Or maybe he just doesn't want to fix it ... maybe he has better things to do than to help Gino. But let me tell you that he's in the wrong job if that's what he's thinking. He should be a librarian." "Can you engrave without DSL?" "Can I engrave without DSL!! My grandfather was an engraver! Do you think he had DSL? Let me tell you that I don't need any DSL to engrave for you, my friend." "Can you engrave this keychain with this (I show him what I want) "Well I don't know what a 23 gang is, but I don't like the sound of it. Gino doesn't want trouble with any gangs." "That's a "Z", not a "2" ... it's a car." "You all sound crazy to me. Gino isn't a magician. Come back tomorrow." So, I guess it will be ready today ... I have no idea what portion of the message Gino is going to engrave. Only time will tell. The blind date ... hmmm - it was just like all the others ... mildly depressing in the first 10 minutes when the realization hits that this one isn't her. Then there's the couple of hours of talking about this and that. I got in my car on the way home and dropped the top and threw in Casey Chambers "last hard bible" and hummed home. Fishing all day tomorrow (today)... life is good - Mark B
Alpine 3.0
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